My Dearest Ezekiel John,
Did you know that you were divinely wired to be THE leader, father, and provider for my family? You were. I do truly believe that in the deepest depths of my soul. But did you also know… ?
That there is an enemy to marriage. And he has a pretty extensive hit list.
That is one of the many reasons that we Christian wives must continually confess what we know to be True–a necessary safeguard against the lies that poison our covenant. I read some confessions of a Christian wife before we were even married, and I knew then that I believed those confessions. That, aside from God, a husband is a wife’s top priority. That her children are second to her husband. That the husband is the spiritual leader of the home. That a husband is NOT God. That marriage is ‘until death do us part.’
What I did not realize at that time is that Satan does not use the same lies for everyone. No, he finds our weakest point and preys on that. The lies I believe are not the same lies all wives believe, though we do have quite a bit in common. Likewise, the confessions I need to make as a wife after God are not the same as every other wife.
So a mere 111 days after committing my life to you, there are several confessions I want to make so that you and You know my heart:
1. I confess that you, Ezekiel John, were divinely wired to be THE leader, father, and provider for my family, and the last thing you need is a wife who doesn’t believe it. I believe in you, and I know you are my hero. I have been blessed to be a witness to your magnificent life and testimony, and I know you will make much of it.
2. I confess that “every wise women buildeth her house, but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” You can have the confidence and trust that I am esteeming you to others, and that I am building you up. You can also be sure that I will choose to repair and restore our marriage rather than just continue to break it down. If we choose to break each other down, we are only hurting ourselves because we have been made one.
3. The only way our marriage will ever get stronger is if we center our lives around God and center our marriage around Jesus. If we do not apply Christ’s redemptive love to one another, there is no hope for our union just like there was no hope for our souls without His saving grace. I confess that the only way I will be able to do this is to reject myself, my sin, and my pride.
4. I confess that I have not lived up to my vows, but we must never forget or forsake them simply because they are convicting. 111 days ago I vowed to you:
“I vow to help you love life, to always hold you with tenderness and to have the patience that love demands. I vow to call on God to restore us when we fail or fall short. I vow to never give up and always remember that this covenant is as much to God as it is to you. I vow to you that my love for you will never be dependent on your successes or failures but only out of reverence to this vow I make to you today: to be fully devoted to you as your wife from this day until our dying day.”
This is the standard I have chosen for myself, and I must not fool myself into thinking that I am without rebuke or fault in the challenges and struggles of our relationship. However, to put that standard behind us as a vague memory, a vow only in words but not in deeds, is a affront to my covenant and to my integrity as a woman of God.
Oh, Ezekiel John, let us never forget that if marriage is the Earthly representation of Christ’s relationship to the church, then of course it most take the greatest sacrifice of any endeavor we will ever impart on. Did Christ not make the greatest sacrifice for us, and do we not lay down our lives to gain everlasting lives through him? We die to sin and live in Christ, and likewise, our marriages need to be our greatest priority on Earth. Not our jobs. Not our children. Not our own interests.
Ezekiel, I pray that we find the strength to make the sacrifices to truly be one and abide in each other as the Church abides in Christ and Christ abides in the church. Only then can we see the fruits of The Spirit, the fruits of our labor, and the fruits of our marriage.
Marriage, like a life in Christ, is a worldview–a way of being in the world–that we must recommit to every morning as we wake up, every day as we face new challenges, and every evening as we seek a soft place to rest our heads.
Is it worth it? It can only be worth it if you fully commit. We must fully surrender, holding absolutely nothing back, and give ourselves to this covenant; this is the meaning of becoming one. Our only hope is abiding in Him who now abides in us; the one who offered everything up for the unworthy though they gave him every reason not to.
My prayer is that I might raise you up at the sake of myself. That I might trust you to be the husband I know you can be. And that God might be glorified by our union and the wholeheartedness and faithfulness with which we approach our marriage.
111 days has felt like the blink of an eye, and yet in that time, I have traveled such a journey. And I praise God for you are the only one I would want to take this journey with.
Thank you, Lord, for putting Ezekiel in my life; please help me not to forget or forsake these confessions.
Grace and Peace,